The RAIN Technique: 4 Steps to Dealing With Intense Emotions Mindfully
What is the RAIN technique?
Have you ever gotten so far down a rabbit hole of worry that you forgot what you were doing before or how you got to thinking about that topic in the first place? Anxious thoughts are alluring and have the power to hijack any moment if we let them. The Buddha compared our constant emotional and mental reactivity to a waterfall because we are so easily pulled away from the present moment by the compelling force of our incessant mental chatter. Mindfulness techniques can help us become more aware and in control of our thought patterns. The RAIN technique is a specific mindfulness practice that can help you navigate difficult emotions. RAIN is an acronym to help you remember the four steps: recognition, acceptance, investigation, and nonidentification. You can use the RAIN technique as a meditation practice (I like this guided meditation by Tara Brach), or you can walk through each step whenever you’re experiencing a difficult emotion.
Here are the steps for practicing the RAIN technique:
R
Recognition
Our tendency may be to avoid or push away negative thoughts or feelings, but we can’t change or cope with an emotion unless we acknowledge its presence. Recognition involves bringing awareness to an emotion rather than pushing it away. You can ask yourself, “what is happening inside me right now?” and listen to your mind and body for the answers. For example, “This feels like anger, and I notice I am judging myself for being angry.”
A
Acceptance
This step involves accepting your feelings and allowing them to be there. Acceptance does not mean liking, wanting, or choosing something, but rather allowing something painful to exist without creating more unnecessary suffering. When we accept the reality of our situation, the situation becomes workable and genuine change becomes possible. For example, you may notice yourself judging emotions like anger by telling yourself that your anger is “bad” or “wrong.” Instead, try renaming your anger as “painful” to help facilitate acceptance. You may even choose to mentally say to yourself, “allow” or “let be.”
I
Investigation
Here, the instruction is to investigate the emotion with curiosity and self-compassion. Ask yourself questions and explore the emotion with openness and curiosity. For example:
“What triggered me?”
“Why do I feel this way?”
“What discomfort am I’m experiencing, and where is it arising?”
“How am I experiencing this in my body?”
“What does this feeling want from me?”
“What stories am I believing right now?”
“What thoughts, beliefs, or sensations are connected to this feeling?”
N
Nonidentification
Nonidentification involves avoiding identification with the emotion. Nonidentification is sometimes called cognitive defusion, which is the ability to separate ourselves from our thoughts and feelings. When we create some distance between ourselves and our thoughts, the thoughts become less emotion-provoking and less persistent. For example, rather than saying, “I’m angry,” you may say, “anger is present right now,” or “I am experiencing anger right now.”
Let’s walk through an example:
Recognition
“I’m noticing that I’m feeling anger, and I notice that I am judging myself for being angry.”
Acceptance
My anger is not “bad” or “wrong,” it is just “painful.” Mentally repeat to yourself “allow.”
Investigation
“What triggered me? My anger started after my boss made a passive-aggressive comment during our team meeting.”
“How am I experiencing this in my body? I’m noticing that I’m clenching my fists, my stomach is tight, and my eyebrows are furrowed.”
“What does this feeling want from me? My anger wants me to seek retaliation.”
“What thoughts, beliefs, & sensations are connected to this feeling? ‘My boss is such a jerk,’ ‘no one at work takes me seriously,’ ‘I’ll never feel respected at this company.’“
Nonidentification
“I am experiencing anger right now.”
What are your thoughts on the RAIN technique? Have you used it to manage a difficult emotion? Share your experience in the comments section below.
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