8 Strategies to Boost Your Social Wellness
Social connection is a basic human need, which is why it is of the eight dimensions of holistic wellness. In his book Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers, author Robert Sapolsky explains that “the fewer social relationships a person has, the shorter his or her life expectancy, and the worse the impact of various infectious diseases.” Social relationships impact life expectancy to the same degree as cigarette smoking, hypertension, obesity, and level of physical activity. At the most basic level, social wellness is developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system. It is also:
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- Feeling satisfied with your social life.
- Being involved in groups within your community.
- Maintaining regular contact with your support network of friends and family.
- Having meaningful relationships in your life.
- Participating in a wide variety of social activities.
- Finding opportunities to form new relationships.
- Balancing your needs with others’ needs and practicing assertive communication skills.
- Choosing romantic partners who respect your wants, needs, and choices.
- Having a balance of give-and-take in your relationships.
- Planning time with friends and family.
So, how can you improve your social wellness? Here are some tips:
1
Turn your hobbies and interests into social activities.
Enjoy reading? Join a book club. Enjoy cooking? Take a cooking class. Enjoy running? Join a running club. Facebook groups and Meetup are great places to find social gatherings for various interests.
2
Reach out to friends and family regularly.
Make a goal to reach out to at least one member of your support system each week, even if for no other reason than to check in with them.
3
Set boundaries.
Your energy before and after interactions with people can provide a wealth of information, so pay close attention to how you feel before and after certain social interactions. If you are feeling resentment in any of your relationships, chances are there are unmet needs or imbalances in give-and-take. In order to find balanced and resentment-free relationships, don’t be afraid to set boundaries. A general format for addressing concerns in a relationship is as follows: “I feel _____ (insert feeling word here), about ______ (describe the situation, not the person). I need (insert positive need, or what you would like the other person to do rather than what you don’t want them to do).” For example, this might sound like “I feel frustrated when our plans are canceled with short notice. I need you to let me know by the day before any upcoming plans if you need to cancel.” For more information on setting boundaries, I highly recommend the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab.
4
Improve communication in your relationships.
The best way to ensure your needs are met in your relationships is to verbalize them. Refer to the formula above to address your feelings and needs in your relationships.
5
Identify your core values and find ways to meet people with similar values.
Are faith or religion important to you? Find groups offered by local churches, synagogues, or other religious facilities. Is giving back and helping others less fortunate than you important to you? Volunteer locally and socialize with other volunteers.
6
Learn how to better give and receive support.
When people you love are struggling, try asking them, “what do you need from me?” to best support them. Everyone gives and receives support differently, so the best way to find out how to best support someone is to ask the other person what they need. When you’re struggling and need support from others, see if you can identify what you are needing from the other person and communicate that to them. For example, you may say, “I’ve had a really stressful day at work. I could really use a listening ear.”
7
In romantic relationships, show up as your authentic self from the beginning of the relationship.
In the pursuit of a new relationship, we may hide our true feelings, needs, and preferences because we believe it may make us more likable or attractive to the other person. When we form connections based on facades or people-pleasing behaviors, it is much harder to change these dynamics as the relationship progresses. Relationships are like cement: in the beginning, there is some fluidity, but once that cement hardens, it’s nearly impossible to change its shape or form. Relationships are the same way: new relationships are malleable while new dynamics form, but once the roles and dynamics are established, they can be very hard to change.
8
Let go of people-pleasing tendencies.
You may think that overextending yourself for others’ benefit is enhancing the relationship, but it usually accomplishes the opposite. Social wellness is about how you feel about your social relationships, and if you feel depleted from giving beyond your capabilities, you will feel resentful and burnt out. Saying no helps you show up in your relationships more authentically and gives the relationship more equality in give-and-take.
At Embodied Wellness Center, we take a holistic approach to mental health treatment. Interested in a holistic approach or want to learn more about it?
*Disclaimer: The content posted on this website is for marketing and educational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, psychotherapy or a replacement for mental health treatment. Please seek the advice of your licensed medical or mental health professional, and do not avoid seeking treatment based on anything read on this website.
