5 Ways to Conquer Impostor Syndrome Like a Boss
Impostor syndrome is a ghost that many experience but few discuss. Impostor syndrome is feeling inadequate or fraudulent, that you are not deserving of the success or recognition that you have attained. I will break the negative stigma of impostor syndrome and declare that I am a victim of impostor syndrome. I regularly experience feelings of self-doubt and incompetence in my work despite knowing that I have worked so hard and accomplished so much to get to where I am now. I don’t always know who will enter my virtual office, so I can’t possibly be prepared to handle every situation that presents itself to me. That, combined with the fact that there are so many different methodologies and techniques for conducting therapy (and there’s rarely one “right” way to respond in the therapy room), creates plenty of opportunities for me to feel challenged or unsure of myself. This makes my job interesting AND challenging at the same time. So, I present to you these techniques that I have found to be effective not only for my clients but for myself.
Tips for Managing Impostor Syndrome:
1
Practice opposite action.
Opposite action is a technique from Dialectical Behavior Therapy that is used to manage difficult or challenging emotions. Every emotion motivates us to act or behave in certain ways, and these behaviors are called action urges. For example, if we’re angry, our action urge may be to scream, clench our fists, or punch a hole in the wall. If our action urges do not fit the facts of the situation (i.e., feeling fear even though there’s no identified threat to your safety) or may make our situation worse, we can use opposite action. Take a moment to write a list of action urges for impostor syndrome. Some common action urges may be to stay silent, hunch your back, cross your arms, avoid eye contact, or use filler words (i.e., like, um, uh, etc.). Then, write down the exact opposite of each action urge. That is how you will act when experiencing impostor syndrome. Studies on cognitive dissonance show that when people’s actions don’t match their beliefs, they usually change their beliefs to match their actions. In other words, by acting as if you feel confident in situations where you feel anything but, you will eventually change your beliefs about yourself.
2
Reach out to others.
Another common action urge for impostor syndrome is to withdraw or keep quiet because we believe we’re the only ones experiencing it. However, staying silent and keeping it to ourselves often makes our impostor syndrome worse. When we share how we’re feeling with others, we can gain a more realistic perspective on our abilities, and we realize that we’re not alone and that these feelings are normal. Find a trusted person (a therapist, friend, family member, etc.) with whom you can share your feelings. It may be more helpful to share these feelings with someone related to the situation in which you’re experiencing impostor syndrome. For example, if you’re experiencing impostor syndrome before giving a work presentation for your company’s top executives, reach out to a coworker who knows you well. Do they see your abilities the same way that you do? How do they feel about their own abilities? Chances are that through these conversations, you will realize that others don’t see your abilities the same way and that they, too, experience these feelings at times.
3
Keep track of your successes, big and small.
When impostor syndrome clouds your ability to see yourself and your abilities clearly, it can help to have tangible evidence that contradicts your distorted thoughts or beliefs. Here are some ways to do that:
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- Instead of making a to-do list, you can try making a ta-da list with everything you did accomplish each day.
- Compile a list of accomplishments each year to track your progress.
- Create a success folder where you print or store any evidence of success. In it, you can include high school diplomas, training certificates, kind work e-mails you’ve received, photographs, or any other mementos related to past successes.
4
Use affirmations.
That inner demon constantly badmouthing us in our minds can be persistent and powerful. Dismantle its power by disputing it with positive affirmations or kind words about yourself. What we focus our attention on grows, so the more we indulge in those “not good enough” narratives, the more they impact us. Fortunately, the opposite is also true: the more we nurture ourselves with positive thoughts, the more apparent and impactful those become. When you experience a negative thought about yourself or your abilities, you can respond specifically to the situation at hand (i.e., “I wasn’t a failure at work last week when I successfully navigated a difficult situation with a customer.”) or you can be more general. Repetition rewires the brain, so try to be consistent in these efforts. Here are some affirmations related to impostor syndrome:
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- I’m doing my best, and that’s all I can ask of myself.
- Mistakes are growth opportunities.
- I believe in myself and my abilities.
- My best effort isn’t the same as perfection.
- When things don’t go as planned, I will adjust my expectations.
5
Change your appraisal of impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome tends to rear its ugly head when we feel uncomfortable, challenged, or anxious. It’s important to remember that feelings are not facts. Just because you feel incompetent doesn’t mean you are incompetent. What if you flipped the script?
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- Instead of: “My discomfort must mean I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Try: “I’m uncomfortable because I’m doing something unfamiliar, and discomfort is often a sign of growth.”
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- Instead of: “I feel really anxious right now, which must mean I’m not prepared or don’t know what I’m talking about.”
Try: “I’m anxious, but only because I care a lot about this situation.”
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- Instead of: “I should know how to do this—anyone else in my situation would know how to navigate this with ease.”
Try: “Feeling challenged is a good thing— it keeps work interesting, and it helps me learn and grow.”
Do you struggle with impostor syndrome? Break the negative stigma and share your experience in the comments section below.
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*Disclaimer: The content posted on this website is for marketing and educational purposes only. It is not, nor is it intended to be, psychotherapy or a replacement for mental health treatment. Please seek the advice of your licensed medical or mental health professional, and do not avoid seeking treatment based on anything read on this website.
